?

Log in

Trixie's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Trixie

[ website | My Website ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Its been awhile... [13 Sep 2002|04:27pm]
[ mood | bored ]

A lot has happened but I've been too lazy to type it here. First though, I am engaged. Robert put an engagment ring on my finger while I was sleeping. Hes my whole life. We live together basically. I see him everyday. Hes at work right now though, with my brother. Second of all I got two tatoos. I have my cancer symbol which is a side way 69 on the lower back with a banner saying Cancer. I am going back to get it shadowed and colored with blue. On my shoulder, I have a started tatoo of a moon blowing out clouds and with stars. I have the outline of the black and we are going to do it a dark blue on the rest. I will take pictures and show u all once they are all finished. Robert's friend is ding them for free. He is almost professional but he is a damn good artist and has everything a local tatoo store has, or even more actually. He is very good, and its free, can't beat that. I had to take my other nipple ring out...was hurting really fucking bad. Anyways...not much is going on besides being in love...engaged, and tatooed. I do plan to write more but for some reason time is never there..

Ash

7 comments|post comment

Its been awhile... [13 Sep 2002|04:27pm]
[ mood | bored ]

A lot has happened but I've been too lazy to type it here. First though, I am engaged. Robert put an engagment ring on my finger while I was sleeping. Hes my whole life. We live together basically. I see him everyday. Hes at work right now though, with my brother. Second of all I got two tatoos. I have my cancer symbol which is a side way 69 on the lower back with a banner saying Cancer. I am going back to get it shadowed and colored with blue. On my shoulder, I have a started tatoo of a moon blowing out clouds and with stars. I have the outline of the black and we are going to do it a dark blue on the rest. I will take pictures and show u all once they are all finished. Robert's friend is ding them for free. He is almost professional but he is a damn good artist and has everything a local tatoo store has, or even more actually. He is very good, and its free, can't beat that. I had to take my other nipple ring out...was hurting really fucking bad. Anyways...not much is going on besides being in love...engaged, and tatooed. I do plan to write more but for some reason time is never there..

Ash

4 comments|post comment

Hey you punk ass bitches!! :) [03 May 2002|07:00pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Hey all. I haven't wrote anything in awhile so I figured I might as well. Not much is going on. Robert, my boyfriend, and I are having our one year anniversary June 15th. I can't believe that it has been almost a year. I love him with all my heart. I just got back from staying at his house for a week (reasons I shall not say why). I love being with him. He asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would come with him if he goes to the Air Force, which means us getting married so I can be stationed with him. I said yes of course, because hes the only guy I see myself with for the rest of my life. So if he decides to for sure go, I am packing up my shit within the year after his boot camp and training and moving with him to where ever we will be stationed at. My mom approves, oddly enough, but she knows how much I love him and how great we are together.

On other news, I had to take one my nipple rings out. I was changing the rings to barbells and the right nipple ring was pierced wrong from the now fucking bastard named Ricky (Ricky- don't accuse people of shit when you can't even get over Janet who you bitch about but then come running back to her, you freak) And my nipple ring got ripped awhile back, so right when I took the ring out, my boyfriend couldn't get the barbell through. I was in tears, it hurt so fucking bad. So now I have to go get that pierced by someone who knows what the fuck they are doing. Anyways, my boyfriend pierced my conch. It hurt when it was getting done but afterwards it only hurt when you touched it. I gaged my tongue to a 6 now and my ears are 8's and 10's. I am going to get my tongue to a 3 gaged, the same as my boyfriend, and my ears to either a 2 or 00. I am about to get my belly button pierced and get that project started. I am going to get it pierced four times eventually. After my conch heals I am getting an industrial but through my conch and tragus and then just a normal industrial going through the top cartilage on the other ear. Thank god I don't have to pay for any of this shit except the needles because my boyfriend does piercings, quite well actually.

Well thats pretty much all thats been going on. I do plan to write more when I get the chance it is just that I don't get online that much because I am ususally with my boyfriend. He is the main thing in my life and I am thankful to have a guy who loves me as much as he does, and I love him just as much. :)

Ashley

2 comments|post comment

I am back [27 Nov 2001|12:14pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I know I have not wrote anything for awhile. I have just been busy, or I guess you can say that. Anyways...not much is new. I don't work for Jim anymore. I work at Decision Data making 8.50 an hour just to make phone calls. I am still with Robert. I love him to death. He is basically everything to me. We have been dating for 6 months and he has helped me so much. I got my nipples pierced about 3 weeks ago. Hurt like a bitch but they are really interesting. My tongue is now a 8 gaged. I have two 12 gage in my ears and two 14 gage and two 16 gage. I have to gage out the rest of the holes later. And I have two 14 gage in my nipples. I went to Toyoko Rose with Sara last week I think it was. Saw Belle Morte. They kicked ass. I might change or add a few things to my website whenever I get the chance. Probably do a piercing section. Showing my piercings and my boyfriends and friends and just info on where you can get good work done. I am thinking about getting a tattoo soon. I found what I want. Its a wizard looking into a crystal ball. Looks tight but I don't know where I am going to put it at. Probably in the middle of my back. Anyways I soon got to go into town but I will write more whenever I feel like it.

Ash

3 comments|post comment

Well..I am bored..for once! [21 Jul 2001|03:59pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Today is my day off of work and I am bored. My boyfriend, Robert, who is the cook at Spirits, is working till 6. Than at 6 he is picking me up so I can stay the night at his house tonight because I don't have a ride to work Sunday morning. Robert is a kickass guy. Way better than that cheating low life fuck up Stubbs aka Kevin. Anyways....My tongue is healing really quickly which is shocking. It doesn't hurt and the swelling has gone down and I can talk now, normally. Yep so anyways..not much has been happening with me...I only come home to sleep because I am always at work or at King George...KG kicks ass..Its so quiet there. Tonight I am getting drunk as hell. I hope I still make it to work tomorrow, if not "Sketchy" might be pissed at me. Hehe..Hes our manager..he kicks ass! Anyways...I basically stopped hanging out with all those old friends...So much bullshit goes on and lying *cough* *cough* (You know who you are so stop pretending and you know I don't like you and I know you don't like me, so just stay out of my way) Yep Yep...so I think I am going to go find something to do...I will write more whenever I get the chance..Bye all.

Ash

4 comments|post comment

Yep [16 Jul 2001|10:26pm]
Anyways..on my break today...Robert asked where I was going and I said to Corkys downtown. So he said I should get something pierced and I said I didn't know...and then he called me chicken..hehe...So I went over there and got my tongue pierced...It dind't hurt at all. Anyways...I am going onto bed..I am tired...oh btw, Stubbs if u see this...call me asap u dumbfuck good for nothing SLUT!
post comment

hey..i am back [11 Jun 2001|09:47am]
Well I just got back from the beach..I got back yesterday actually....went downtown yesterday and hung out at my work with melissa and scott than went around....By the way, I waitress at Spirits now..downtown. Come visit me people!! Lauren already visited me and so did Steven and his girlfriend...and Mac and Julia and Ben. Anyways..Not much to say really...I want to go down to the river..I have a tan now! Pale ole me actually tans...sorta...anyways..write more later..bye.
2 comments|post comment

Working... [22 May 2001|10:40pm]
Well..not much has been happening. My boyfriend and I had our issues these past 2 weeks, but things are okay. Friday and Saturday I am waitressing at Santa Fe for my friend, Mike. Make some extra money is always good. My boyfriend is still homeless. Where he was staying got fucked up because Ethen left. June 3rd I am going to the beach. Gotta get a tan! Either Paula or Laura are coming with me. Going to get fucked up the whole week. I haven't gotten fucked up in forever. Anyways I don't know what else to type. I will write more later.
post comment

La De Fucking DA [02 May 2001|09:12pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey. I just got back from seeing my boyfriend. God I miss him so much. I almost started crying today because I am so worried and scared shitless. He got a job today. They hired him on the spot. He gets his car in 3 weeks and he just needs to find a place to live now. I get my car in June. I am thinking about getting this car for $2500. Its nice and I was thinking about using my other $2500 for a kickass system in it. I want to get an eclipse, though. I want a kickass stero system in it and everything. Pimp it out. Hehe. I have $5000 to work with.

The only bad thing about my boyfriend having a job is that I won't get to see him that often. He is supposed to go to a rave this weekend, but he said he won't go so he could spend time with me. Which is sweet. I get a job this summer as well, so I don't know when I can see him. This chick at this tattoo and piercing place today thought I was sexy and asked my boyfriend about me. Shes sexy. Hehe. My boyfriend got his lower section of his belly button pierced about a week ago. I keep hitting it on accident. :( God I miss him!!! June 3rd, I go away for a week to the beach. Probably bringing Paula. We have going to have parties and have a kickass time. I am going to miss my boyfriend, though. He said that he doesn't want anyone else but me and that he loves me and wants to be with me forever. I really love him as well. I don't even think about other guys.

I updated my website. Added new pictures and what not. I will add friends pictures asap. My phone line is still fucked so I am using my brothers computer whenever he is at his girlfriend's place.

Anyways, I don't know what else to write so I am going to go. Write more later. Bye.

post comment

Blah.....Shit [01 May 2001|02:17pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Hey everyone. I know I haven't wrote in here in awhile, but that is not because I did not want to, but the simple fact that my phone connection is fucked. I am on my brother's computer right now.

As of right now, my boyfriend is homeless. He is basically house hopping. I am worrying so much. We came close to breaking up a few times when I was going through some fucked up mood swings. I got better and we love each other every much. This past week he told me he is in love with me. I am happy with him and I just worry that he might lose it.

Today I am staying home...FINALLY. For the past 2 weeks, I've been going out everyday! It gets a little hectic. I want to see Stubbs, but I can't. He has been keeping in contact with me everyday and letting me know where he is at. He might be living with some people in this 4 bedroom house soon.

I have a lot on my mind. I am sick and everything. I feel like shit. I have this personal problem as well on my mind that is tearing me to pieces. June 5th, I am going to Nags Head to the beach house. Should be cool. I am going to miss my boyfriend like crazy, though. I don't know what else to write.

Oh, about my website. I know I haven't finished changing it, but as I mentioned above, my phone connection is down. I will work on it as soon as I get that fixed. I will try and be online everyday if you need to contact me.

Hope everyone is doing well.....Bye.

post comment

Hmm Okay [18 Apr 2001|10:58pm]
[ mood | content ]

Okay, I just got off the phone...Things are going better with Stubbs and I. He just kept going on about how much he missed me and loves me and blah blah...makes me wonder if something is up..I don't know, but I feel better about a lot of things...I am going over there at either 8:30 in the morning tomorrow..or 4pm. Not sure..he says he wants to sleep (not sexual people!!) with me tomorrow and all be romantic..So I don't know..Anyways..I am off to bed..I know its early, but I gotta get up early..so Night..

post comment

FUCK [17 Apr 2001|05:38pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Grr my life sucks...I guess that seems like what every normal teenager says, but my life really does suck. I mean, I have it made at home, but I could care less about all that. I just want freedom. I would give up my room and computer and everything that I own just to get out of here. My mother and I got into another fight today. She will never understand that she cannot change me and the only way I can change is if I want too. I am about to go to a funeral which I don't know why. My uncle died on Easter, but I hardly ever saw him. Stubbs and I got into a small argument today over yesterday, but things are okay I guess. April is just a shitty month. I guess after 3 months of dating there are going to be some complications, but I feel like hes too laid back in this relationship. I don't know. Anyways, I am about to go...write more later...

post comment

[16 Apr 2001|11:17pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I don't even know anymore. I talked to someone tonight that opened me up. He made me realize that maybe I am wasting my life and that there is so much out there that I have no clue about and that I am holding myself back from exploring. So much shit has happened just in the past few months that I have sorta blocked out because I don't want to go down that road of depression again. Depression is what people make of it. I am happy with Stubbs and I know he cares about me, but there are just so many things I don't know about. Josh dying made me realized a lot of shit too. People go so quickly. You think that that would never happen to you, but it does. Josh was the first person I knew that died. I used to think that it would never happen to me, but it does and will. I often think that it might of have been me..dead if those times that I tried to kill myself actually worked. There are so many times when I wanted to die, but yet the thought of dying scares me. My uncle died yesterday as well. So many things are happening right now that I can't take it all in. Two of my friends are in jail and just everything is going wrong. I worry about one of my friends, afraid that one day she is going to get some STD or raped or killed or even kidnapped.

The only person that I feel like I can trust fully is Sara. Sara has never told anyone my secrets and she has never betrayed me. I feel horrible that I have betrayed her a few months ago. She had all the right to not talk to me ever again, but being as good person she is, she looked past that, and I thank her for that. Not only is she a beautiful person on the outside, she is a beautiful person on the inside as well.

Its weird because it seems like everyday is just a dream. Like yesterday and the day before. Back when I used to date Nathan seems just like a bad dream, like none of it is real and thats because I blocked all that shit out until it seemed like none of it ever happened. I hate the feeling of losing people. And thats because everytime I get close to someone, mentally, emotionally, physically, I lose them. There is so much I just want to say right now, but I can't cuz a lot of the shit I want to say will get me in trouble with certain people. I know where my life is going to end up if I keep on drinking or doing drugs, but yet I don't do anything to change it. Its not that I don't give a shit, its just that I feel like why should I change it...why should I change to make people happy, like my mom, when the past 6 years I had to put up with her dumbass fiance.

That person who made me realize all this is a wonderful person and I adore him for that. He told me to call him tonight if I needed someone to talk to, but I don't know if I am going to. I hope Stubbs calls me tonight, but I doubt he does. Stubbs and I connect wonderfully mentally, but I am not quite sure on the emotional part. I am a hopeless romantic and thats a down fall of mine, but he isn't really romantic. He gets jealous easily when I talk to guys, but yet he has lots of girls that are friends and I can't be a hypocrite because like 99.9% of my friends are guys.

I just don't know. I just need to get away. I am tired of waking up to the same shit everyday, its boring and I need change in my life because if I don't have something to look forward to everday, I get depressed. I know that if I get on medication everything will be cool, but I hate the idea of mood altering medications. Like it is going to make me feel any better knowing that this isn't who I am? Fuck that. And on other news, Lauren and I basically stopped talking. I don't know if it is because we both moved on with different lives or what not, but we aren't as close as we used to. I just feel like I can't relate to her anymore...and I don't know why and that depresses me. I have basically stopped hanging out with my old crowd and I have a whole new one now...basically all of the people in Breezewood apartments..hehe. But I still care for Lauren and I do not forget all the times we have had and the shit we have been through, but people drift and thats a sad part about friendships and shit like that.

I know I am just rambling on but who cares? I wish I could move out..and I can't wait till I go to college..I feel as if I am suffocating and its driving me mad. Today and basically all of last week I have been hanging out with Mom and Speedy and all those people. We are still trying to get that tribute thing for Josh worked out. I found out something about someone recently and that pisses me off. People betray friends around here in a heartbeat. I had feelings tonight that I have never before felt and I don't know how to feel. So much shit can happen within one hour that will have you thinking for days. Does that make sense? I guess so...Anyways I really don't know what else to say and I really want to go to sleep so I don't have to think anymore and besides I have a horrible headache...from smoking Newports. I had one today..and I haven't smoked Newports in forever so now I am paying for it. I am trying to quit so I am sticking with Ultra Lights..its like smoking air. Anyways...I will write more later and I will keep everyone posted on more news about Josh's tribute thing. Goodnight all.

1 comment|post comment

Moving in.. [15 Apr 2001|11:59pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I just got off the phone with Stubbs. He was talking about if he lived downtown with Jenn and her bf..that he would want me to live with him. I want to, and if I do, I will probably end up going to MWC for college...I care for him so much. I would marry him right now if he asked. Sounds pathetic eh? Well I would. I don't know if that is because I want to settle down or not or if itis because of him, but I want to get married...I dunno, I am strange...Anyways..I am about to go to bed..write more later..bye.

2 comments|post comment

In memory of Josh.. [12 Apr 2001|03:23pm]
Not this Saturday, but next..we are having a bunch of bands to play at the King George Rec Center. I will soon list the bands. Shirts are hopefully being made as a tribute to Josh with the bands listed on the back. The money rasied will be used for a memorial thing for Josh or to send his ashes back to New Zealand. Details will be added soon. Please invite everyone you know because its for a good cause. Thanks.
post comment

Nothing much... [11 Apr 2001|05:58pm]
[ mood | okay ]

I have been changing the colors of my website. I am half done so thats why half of it is a different color. I have to change my livejournal image as well. I should be done tonight if I don't get caught up doing something else. Tomorrow I get to see Stubbs. I saw him last Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday ...so basically all week. It was great. I love spending time with him. He called me at 8 this morning saying he missed me. I was like "Aww thats sweet, but its 8 freakin o clock in the morning!!!" Hehe. Hes wonderful!!! I am changing the name of my livejournal as well. Write more later...

2 comments|post comment

[11 Apr 2001|04:55pm]
Josh's death was in the newspaper again...front page..
post comment

[10 Apr 2001|10:04pm]
I went by Josh's house...IT was so depressing..Jessie and Stubbs and I went to MWC and downtown and some other places today. Gabe was thinking about eveyrone putting little black flags in teh back of their cars...those who knew him. His ashes might be sent back to New Zealand. We ate at Brandon's work today. That was cool. I am upset still about Josh. Seeing his house made things worse. They might have a wiccan funeral for him. I dont know.....THey say his blood sugar was in the 1000's.....Wayyyyy to much..
3 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2001|12:50pm]
Everyone read the front page of the newspaper if you knew josh..its shocking..
post comment

[10 Apr 2001|12:37am]
For those of you who are curious about the funeral info..I don't really know whats up. I think it might be held thursday at a place he enjoyed the most. He is being cremated (sp?) and his ashes spread most likely. I will keep you updated as to what time and things like that because right now I am not sure..
1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]